But rooting a conversation in implicit and explicit bias—which we increasingly understand to be universal—creates a more nuanced conversation, and one that isn’t so readily shrugged off. Just because you have a preference for thin people or those of their original biological sex, “Our desires are not immune to social conditioning,” explained Tiktoker @morethantracyt. Frame, still unable to find the words, but able to place my hand in his. I looked around, making sure nobody was lurking in the shadows, before I stepped into his arms.

The Psychology of Why People Dislike or Hate Fat People

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Nicci, for example, went on a few dates with a guy who not only had a fat fetish, but was a feeder, someone who becomes sexually aroused by feeding a partner and encouraging them to gain weight. Up until that point, she only saw people being attracted to her body as being a benefit, but since then she’s had to question if a guy is dating her for her — or just for her body. When straight-sized people make their online dating profiles, they generally put up whatever pictures they think will get them the most matches. In fact, weight bias and racism remain deeply intertwined to this day.

Like people OWE IT TO YOU to be attracted to you even if you look like Jabba the Hutt. Work on yourself, girl, make yourself someone worth dating —and I’m seniorpeoplemeet com not even talking to your body, but rather your sucky personality. I’ve had a few encounters with heavyset guys, and it was based on their personality.

Weight stigma, discrimination, weight-based bullying and teasing can have a sometimes life-long negative impact on a person’s mental health, their body image and also the relationship they have with food and exercise. Weight stigma is also a real barrier to many people seeking support. Weight bias, sometimes also called fatphobia or weight stigma, describes the negative attitudes and stereotypes surrounding and attached to larger bodies. Further, fatphobia is an abnormal and irrational fear of being fat or being around fat people.

Even Swift sympathizes with her fans as they work through the meaning behind her work, as she sings in the chorus, “It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.” Taylor Swift’s music video, where she looks down at the scale where it says “fat,” is a shitty way to describe her body image struggles. Fat people don’t need to have it reiterated yet again that it’s everyone’s worst nightmare to look like us.

And in the process, we lose track of facilitating their growth and our own healing. Of course, no marginalized community is required to use terms that make our oppressors comfortable. The choice of what language to use is a deeply personal one for those who’ve been targeted by oppressive systems, and whatever words marginalized people choose to use to describe their experiences are valid and not up for debate. It invites defensiveness rather than transformation from the very people who most need to change. Prior to beginning my writing career, I spent a dozen years as a community organizer, predominantly working in LGBTQ communities.

Using the plight of fat people as talking points for your viral Twitter thread, the article you should not have written, or in your organizing space(s) while never actually locating desire in our bodies is anti-fat. “Preferring” to be with people who are not fat is anti-fat. Those things clearly point to the discrimination that fat people experience and they are very easy to conceptualize.

There happens to be a lot of evidence out there (scientific, peer-reviewed studies and everything) concluding that being fat is, actually, not bad for a person’s health. But the actual evidence doesn’t matter here, because the argument that fat is bad for one’s health is never made out of concern for fat people’s health. It is instead an argument made to justify being explicitly weight stigmatising and fatphobic. And because the ‘fat is bad for you’ myth is so accepted in our society, it is an extremely effective method of justification. Of course, the word fit doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing to everyone.

Unfortunately, the doctor’s office is usually not a safe space for people who have obesity, despite it being the most prevalent and chronic disease in our human existence. This requires less physical effort and provides more social virtue points that actually eating responsibly and getting those jiggle thighs churning on a bicycle. Professional victim Twitter fativists and woke lifestyle bloggers, apparent masochists, provide an endless source of entertainment at their own expense as they continue their Quixotic quest for #fatacceptance. We’re molded by the environment in which we grow up, and those ideas, implicit biases, and perceptions impact every part of our lives.